I don’t know what it is, but I have this yearning for adventure. I want to get out and do new stuff, meet new people, and just live life. I’m totally inspired by the documentary “Craigslist Joe”. I think it would be completely awesome to ditch everything for a while and just go on an adventure, where things are uncertain and you’re completely out of your comfort zone.
At the same time, that’s like the scariest thing ever.
But when I was dating Jess, I got this great sense of fulfillment. We lived in completely different cities, and while San Francisco was her backyard and stomping grounds, it was completely new to me. I felt like when I was with her, I was like a little kid discovering a brand new unique city with all of these new experiences and people, and it was awesome. I saw new things, learned new things, met new people, and just had a lot of fun experiences. Every weekend turned into an adventure, and I felt incredibly alive.
She’s gone now though, and while I’ve buried myself in working my new job, I think I’m craving that same spark, that sense of newness, that feeling of being an explorer and having new experiences.
So far, my life has been remarkably average. I floated through school, made some friends and connections along the way, and just kind of went where the wind took me. Nothing was particularly challenging, yet it’s shaped who I am today. I don’t want to end up average the rest of my life. I want to make a difference, make my mark doing something important, while at the same time making a great living.
I’ve stayed under the radar for far too long, being that nice, agreeable guy who is easygoing and gets along with everyone, avoiding conflict by agreeing with everyone’s opinions, even if they conflict with mine. I’m that fucking nice guy that gets passed over, the one who’s easily forgotten, the one people are too damn busy for. It’s like being that nice guy everyone knows, and is likable, but that’s about it. Nobody hits me up on my cell phone unless I send mass texts asking other people what THEY are up to. When I suggest things to do, I get a varied amount of responses, but almost always ends up in a no. Maybe I’ve been lacking substance.
I noticed myself doing this lately: I know and have read about a lot of stuff. But I haven’t experienced them firsthand. I tell people, “Oh, I’ve heard that X place is really good!” They reply, “Have you tried it/been there/seen it?” My response is almost always no.
Dating Jess was cool because I got to experience all of this adventure stuff with someone who shared similar tastes and was knowledgeable about her city. It was really fun. I feel like I became somewhat cultured about various things. New experiences were always happening in that short period of time we dated.
Today, I had a small revelation. I decided to ride my bike to a new coffee shop for the first time. I got my coffee, sat down, and read a book for maybe 30 minutes (I got cold =\). As I went to unlock my bike, there was this cute girl struggling with her bike lock right next to mine. There was a small awkward conversation, I teased her about her having a stolen bike, and before I knew it, I was off. In retrospect, that was a rare opportunity for me to take action and meet someone new. I brushed it off. Now, I’m not going to beat myself up over this, but I think this is significant. Next time opportunity presents itself, I need to realize it that split second and jump on it. Those types of things are crucial. I’ve already formulated this “shoulda woulda” scenario in my head on that situation. Next time, I want to be proud of what I did, not lamenting over what I could have done.
I’m too comfortable right now. Nobody ever got anywhere just sitting in their comfort zone. Or so it seems.
Regardless, today was a nice little baby step. Although I was alone, I didn’t feel lonely. That was good.